Eli the Computer Guy

Archive for the ‘Customer Relations’ Category

Truthiness is a term coined by Stephen Colbert.  It is defined as something that seems like it should be true.  Kind of like saying the sun revolves around the earth.  It is completely false, but it sounds like it should be true.  Learning to speak in truthiness can be a lifesaver for a tech.

What many techs do not realize is that people hire them for more then their expertise.  Not only are techs expected to fix problems, but they are also supposed to make people feel more comfortable about the situation.  When you arrive on scene everyone is supposed to feel better because, ‘the expert has arrived.”

The problem is far too many techs have no knack for making people feel comfortable.  They are so utterly honest that it sends the client into convulsions of fear.  When asked what the problem is they’ll say they have no idea.  When asked how long it will take to fix they fall back to shrugging their shoulders.  Being that the client is predisposed to distrust “geeks” this does not help anything.

Now on the other hand when they ask you what the problem is you say something “truthy”.  They can nod their head, act like they understand, and let you go about your work.  They feel comfortable because the expert seems to have a handle on things.  The expert has explained to them a problem that seems like it should be true.  He has laid out a course of action that seems practical. So the client smiles inside with confidence that the problem will be fixed.

Now what you told the client, and what the facts are may have nothing to do with each other, BUT the client will now give you breathing room so that you can figure out what the hell is going on.

At the end of the day when the problem is fixed you can explain the problem and solution truthfully.  They will ask about what happened to your original “truthy” explanation, and you can shrug it off because the problem is FIXED.  And all the client really cares about at this point is that the problem has been fixed, and while you were working he had the utmost confidence in your skills. 

The end result is that he is comfortable with you fixing his problems.  So you will either get a pat on the head as an employee, or you’ll get called back for more work if you are a consultant.

Of course for the to work you have to FIX the problem!  And of course always remember to, “Under promise, and over deliver.”

I recently received a rather nasty email which got me thinking about human nature and customer service. I shut down my little repair shop about 8 months ago, and after a lot of soul searching decided to open up a computer training company. Doing my normal marketing I sent out a mass email to all of my old clients describing what had happened to the old company, and what I look forward to do with the new one. The response I received from old clients was genuinely heartwarming. If I was the type to tear up, I would have shed tears for the affection shown. And after getting so many nice, kind, thoughtful emails it was a shock when I received,

“I think it highly unlikely that I will avail myself of your services or use any of your recommendations – but thanks for the heads up on the new companies – I’ll be happy to spread the word that people shouldn’t use any of those names mentioned in your email.”

This response got me thinking of a New Years Eve 1995. I was with a good friend in down town San Francisco in Union Square for the celebration. We were literally dancing on top of a telephone booth. It was wild! The square was lit up so that it seemed brighter than if the sun was out. People were cheering and screaming, laughing and hugging. As we made our way through the crowd smiling, shaking hands and screaming for sheer fun a line of cute girls snaked through the crowd, one grabbed me and gave me a kiss I would remember fondly as I spent the next week getting over a nasty throat infection. It was one of those nights! My friend was saying, “Happy New Year” to everyone, and they responded in kind. And then as we laughed and he said, “Happy New Year”, a nasty person looked at him and said in no uncertain terms, “Fuck YOU!”.

We would talk about that night for years. The night of 100 “Happy New Years”, and 1 “Fuck You.”

This is something you should keep in mind if you have to deal with customer service. Do your best, but please remember that LITERALLY you’re not going to make everyone happy no matter how hard you try. And some people seem to take pleasure in being jackasses.

There are some things that my clients do that just make me laugh.  I should be angry, but they’re being so dumb that I just feel bad for them.

One of these behaviors is the desire to buy their own parts. When I present a proposal, or need to swap out a major piece of equipment many times they look at the price and say, "Can’t I get this myself?".  And then I smile and say, "Yes you can."

The reason I smile is that this is one of those cheapskate behaviors that comes back to bite them in the future.  When we recommend and purchase a part for a client our reputation stands behind the part functioning properly when it is installed.  If it ends up being faulty, or it simply does not work properly I end up eating a lot of cost in man hours getting it to work properly.  Because this happens we have a reasonable markup on our prices to cover these problems that we know will happen.

Now when a client buys his own parts we offer no guarantee of anything.  They pay us straight labor rates whether the setup works or not.  Not only that, but since clients don’t understand what they are buying they have a tendency of buying equipment that is idiotically complicated to setup.  And so with a smile either I, or one of my techs, will happily sit there billing hourly and know that no matter the outcome we will get paid.

On top of this no one thinks of how hard it is to send back equipment to online vendors.  Even if the process is easy you end up eating the shipping costs.  It is to the point that when we find faulty equipment it generally gets tossed regardless of the warrantee.  When you add in shipping costs and labor man hours to RMA a part it has to be pretty valuable for it to be worth the time.

Additionally when you buy software there are a number of pitfalls you can run into.  There are countless types of licenses for software for how it will be used once it is purchased.  There’s a reason two pieces of seemingly identical software are hundreds of dollars in price difference. 

At the end of the day it is smarter and cheaper for our clients to use the parts that we sell.  We know what we are installing and its limitations, and the client knows that our reputation stands behind them getting a solution that works properly.

When the client decides to dabble in the realm of EBay things can go down hill very quickly.  Parts don’t work right, and then people start quibbling about bills since the solution did not perform, and then I start swearing.  It just gets nasty.

Just something to think about.  I will always caution my clients to be frugal in their decisions, but being cheap is just plain dumb.

It’s a sad day when a client comes to our store with their dead or dying computer.  A few short years ago they purchased the system when it was considered the best thing on the market.  They can endlessly talk about how impressed they are with the performance, and they go on and on about how their friends were envious when they saw it.  They have so many fond memories and feelings about the PC they confidently tell us just to make it work.  They’ll pay the price so long as they can have a few more years with their silicon buddy.

My employees of course used to get lost in this story.  They would sympathize with the clients heartache and vow to make the CPU fan spin again.  Together the client and my employees would work together to bring the electricity back to the little PC’s soul.  It was a utopian vision of man helping machine so that it could help man.

And then I would walk into the shop.  Take one look at the decrepit device and ask "What the f&*% are we doing with this?"

My employees would look at me with a smile, regale me with the tales that they were told and end the story by saying they made a promise to the client to make the computer work again.

"So let me get this straight.  You are going to fix this archaic piece of garbage for $300 plus. When you are done it’s still going to be slower then the lowest bargain basement PC on the market.  And you think this is OK?"

At this point they would tell me how the client looked at them with such hope that they could not refuse the task that was being asked of them.  They would look at me and seem perplexed that I could be so cold hearted.

"I don’t care.  Call the client, tell them that for $500 they can buy a brand new system that will make this old thing look like a typewriter in comparison, and get it off my work bench!"

My employees would be crest fallen.  They would sigh, mumble and kick things as they walked to the phone to call the client.  As they spoke with the customer I would hear "Eli says…", and  other statements to show that they were on the side of the client, but that they had to listen to the boss.

This of course was when I thankfully became aware of such efforts to resurrect these obsolete systems.  Sometimes clients and employees would slip a system through that I did not notice.  They became conspirators in a plan to keep Eli from relegating their electronic treasure from the recycling heap.   My employees would happily work away and then proudly call the client to tell them their system was as good as new.

The client would come in. My employee would startup the system to show the client their work, and invariably the client would say, "It seems a bit slow."

The client would then with a broken spirit find out that their PC will never be able to run again like it used to.  It has had a good life, but the end really is near. they would sigh as they left with their system and the realization sets in that an old computer that runs like new, is still obsolete.

Deciding When to Put Your Computer Down

The first question you must ask yourself before having your computer fixed is, "Are you planning to buy a new one anytime soon?"  If you are it’s probably a better idea just to buy a new computer now instead of having your old one fixed.  Decent PC’s cost $500 or less now, so why spend $100-$300 to fix an old system, and then turn around and buy a new one within a year.

The second question to ask is, "Does this computer do what I need it to?" Too many times I see clients buy new computers just because they are told their old ones are obsolete.  If you are going to do the exact same thing on a new PC that you are doing with your old one why spend the money? A $200 repair is still cheaper then  a new computer if you are not going to use any of the features of a new computer.

Beyond these questions there are a few other rules:

1. If the computer has an operating system on it other then XP or Vista it really is obsolete and there is nothing you can do to upgrade it.  (I.e. Windows 95, 98, Me, NT, 2000)
2. If the computer has 256MB of RAM or less, and you have Windows XP, the computer would be worth upgrading if you know how to do it.  If not it would be a very fine line on whether to upgrade the system or buy a new one.
3. How many problems have you had with the Computer since you bought it?  Generally computers should only have to be professionally repaired a few times during their life.  If you have had to take it to a shop 4 or more times since you have had it you may have bought a computer from a bad batch.  It is probably better to cut your losses and buy a new system. (If you have to keep bringing it in because you’re a porn addict and you keep downloading viruses, that’s another story.)
4. Is the Computer at Least a Pentium 4?  If it’s a Pentium 2 or 3 be happy it’s lasted this long and get a new one.

Keep these questions in mind and you should be able to reliably decide for yourself if you should have your computer repaired or buy a new one.  Generally I advise that as far as price goes I would not spend more then $300 to repair a desktop PC, $400 to repair a laptop,and not more then 50% of the original price for a high end computer like a Mac Book Pro.

Please remember that PC Repair shops like ours make money on fixing computers, not by turning customers away.  You must decide for yourself if you think it’s worthwhile to fix your computer.  Most PC Shops wouldn’t think twice about repairing an obsolete computer if you bring one in.

Recently we had a client (now ex-client) who suffered a dramatic loss of data due to numerous systems failing.  In an attempt to recover the data they contacted us and demanded to get access to the backup files that they thought the server they had purchased from us was creating for their other server.

This led to the rather difficult notification that our server was incapable of backing up another server, and that if they had bothered to check their backup log files once in the 6 months since we had installed the system they would have known this.  Additionally they needed the administrator password to login, although we do keep this data for our own maintenance purposes (Mainly to login to servers when the owner has forgotten their password) there is no explicit nor implicit agreement with my company to keep this information.  Once this was explained the barrage of threats about calling the Better Business Bureau and such ensued.

After this I sat down with my staff to discuss the situation and ways to prevent such problems in the future.  After talking about it we came to the conclusion that although we had not done anything wrong that there is a fundamental disconnect in many clients minds between what we as technical consultants are responsible for, and what they think we are responsible for.

The sad fact is that business owners in this day and age still think it’s A OK to not know much about their computer systems and how they work.  They happily blind themselves to every aspect of their systems, and then talk about the problems they have with their computer support.

I hate these people!  As a computer consultant I hate these people!  As a fellow business owner I hate these people! And as a red blooded citizen of the good ole’ US of A I hate these people!

Let me put this plainly.  Your life depends on computers.  Your business depends on computers.  If you throw your hands up and refuse to understand your systems you are jeopardizing not only your welfare, but that of your employees, clients and family members.  The days of geek bashing are over.  I know computers can be scary.  I know trying to understand what is going on can make your brain hurt.  I know dealing with multiple vendors who all blame each other can be frustrating as fuck.  But that’s your responsibility as a business owner.  Things are only going to get more complex so keeping your head in the sand is probably not the best idea.

Please use the following advice so that you can get the service you want and need, and your IT guy won’t lose what little is left of his mind.

1. Put all of the disks for your computer in one place.  Preferably get a really big manila or plastic envelope and then put ALL the disks you go with your computer, and ALL the disks for the software you installed on your computer.  Please know that we need these disks in order to fix your computer.  Due to piracy laws, and improved anti-counterfeiting technology we cannot and will not install software on your system that we do not have the disks for.  What this means for you as the client is that if you have your disks you will have a fairly reasonable repair bill. If you do not have your disks you will be charged $200+ for replacement disks.   I only make approx. $10 on disk sets so please do not think either I or my guys really want you to have to spend another $200.
2. Please use legal software!  This is your business.  Is the $200 you saved off pirated software really worth the heartache you’re going to go through if your software stops working?  The new anti-piracy technology actually allows Microsoft and such to disable software it finds to be pirated.  What this means is that you can connect to the Internet like normal and their software will communicate to the creators who have the ability to shut off functionality.  Additionally if you come to a shop like ours and we have problems with the software we have nowhere to turn for support.
3. Going with this line of thought you must also demand from your IT consultants either the software or the license numbers and agreements when they install software on your systems.  Many consultants will do thier clients a "favor" by installing pirated software.  Then after you fire them and look for another consulting company that new company will not have the software and you can be looking at more then a few thousand dollars to get your systems into compliance.
4. You must know your passwords.  IT consultants can’t do much if we cannot login to your systems. If you have a server installed it is your responsibility to log into it every once in a while to make sure that you can.
5. Verify your IT consultant did what you agreed that they should do.  After they are done have them walk you through their work, log into the systems they installed and make sure you understand the basic maintenance of the systems.  Unless you have a maintenance contract the IT consultants responsibility for your systems ends the moment the check is signed.  From that point on they may or may not maintain your systems or work with you, and you may or may not use them to repair and maintain the system. (Please note that before I settled down I used the profit from server installs to backpack around the world.  Once the job was done you couldn’t depend that I was even going to have a phone to call.)
6. Complain quickly if there is an initial problem.  Computers are finicky as hell. If you have a problem with your computer service and you call within a day or so of when it was fixed you shouldn’t have a problem having it remedied.  If you wait a week or more the reality is that the IT consultant has no idea if it was the work they did, or if you did something dumb.  Frankly the only reason we have a 30 day warranty on tuneup work at our shop is as a confidence building measure for our clients.  The reality is we can spend days fixing your computer, and you can destroy that work within hours ( In some cases minutes).
7. You must regularly check your backup logs.  If you don’t have a backup system, then you need one.  Most modern backup systems are very reliable and need very little interaction.  But you still need to check your backup logs weekly.  Although your backups may be automated if the software itself becomes corrupt, or you start to have hardware problems, your backups can still fail. As with the client I described in the beginning if you have not checked your backup log files in months then you’re being pretty dumb.  Sometimes backups can fail for stupid reasons, but if your backup software locks up during a backup this can prevent further backups from taking place.
8. You need to have the Account Numbers and Support Phone Numbers for any technology service you have a contract for.  Whether it’s your ISP, phone company or Blackberry server you should have the technical support and sales information in a place you can get to within 5 minutes.  Remember your IT guy charges you whether he’s fixing your system, or twiddling his thumbs waiting for you to find a phone number.
9. You should know what official policies your IT consultant has.  Eli the Computer Guy, LLC has exceedingly few official policies.  The reason for this is that as a business owner I see every written policy as a lawsuit waiting to happen.  I have kept my business clients happy for years based on hand shake deals and handling situations with common sense.  What this means for us is that we have a very strong connection with our loyal clients, but Pain In the Ass clients have had a rude awakening when during a barrage of demands I laugh and hangup the phone.
10. The final and MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF ADVICE is… Trust your IT consultant.  I do not mean blindly trust any moron with a few letters after his name.  I mean sit down with the person and talk with them.  Give them small jobs at first and see if they perform how you would like.  Give them impossible or stupid tasks and see how they respond.  Do they try to talk you out of wasting your money? Do they know enough to counter your idea with a better one? Just because you like the owner or a single employee does that mean you like dealing with the entire company?  Although you like the consultant as a person he may be poor as a tech. On the other hand some of the best techs are absolutly impossible to deal with socially. (If your staff is unwilling to have problems fixed because they hate your IT consultant you’re not helping anyone.)

Please take these recommendations into account when hiring or dealing with your IT consultant.  Most IT consultants are not trying to rip you off, but the fact is if you do not live up to your side of the responsibility you will not receive the service you need.

One of my first business clients was a complete Pain In the Ass, but in the right way.  If I told him something would work he made sure it worked when I was done.  If it was not done properly he was not polite about his dissatisfaction.  If something could not be done that he wanted done he wanted the long winded explanation.  I don’t know if he could really follow what I was saying, but at least he could satisfy himself with the fact that I knew enough to make a long winded explanation.

Now after 5 years there’s not a single complaint.  When he has a problem he knows it will be fixed to his satisfaction.  If the problem can’t be fixed I can explain the reason in a few sentences and not have to stammer through 5 minutes technical jargon.

He trusts me.  I trust him.  That’s the type of business relationship I think we all should strive for.